Jenn:
Once we decided to go with an egg donor we had to find one. We were recommended an agency called Growing Generations so we went home and I immediately got on my computer and logged in. This is where it got kind of strange for me. Am I really going to a website to pick out the woman whose eggs I’m going to be using to have a baby?! It was a very weird feeling at first, but nonetheless I scrolled through the site trying to get familiar with how it all worked. I picked a few women and added them to my “favorites” list. I went back a few times each day just to look at these women I thought would be good candidates. I read all about their family histories and read up on their interests. I looked at their pictures probably a dozen or more times trying to see if they had any features that resembled mine.
Peter checked out the profiles as well and he joked that it was like he was on eHarmony again. He would shake his head and say “I wonder if I will ever truly find someone who I can connect with.” Or “Oh, she’s pretty, but I want someone with wavy blonde hair and who likes hiking.” Or “She only had a 3.25 GPA?” Or “she hasn’t even cycled before!” We found some laughter in that. You have to laugh. I have to admit though that I cried a lot during this process too. It brought up so much emotion.
But then I finally found someone. She was pretty and I found myself going back to her profile often. Even though she didn’t look much like me the answers she gave sounded a lot like answers that I would give. We had similar interests and I felt a connection with her. I really thought that if I ever met this girl in different circumstances we would probably be friends.
And then I found out that she had donated before with great success. That’s what closed it for me. Past success is the best predictor for future success. In fact, we were wait listed for her as she had already been selected by another couple right before we chose her too.
I am coming to terms with the path we chose and it doesn’t seem so awkward anymore. It feels ok actually because I finally found a donor that I feel a connection with. Now we just want a healthy, happy baby.
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